I wrote an extensive and writerly comment that got erased by the UI gods (perhaps ultimately to the benefit of all). Wanted to say I feel a deep appreciation of this post, of exploring these kinds of intersections, and of looking underneath the symptoms of collapse to see the underlying design of economies driven by debt, accumulation, private property, and extraction. And for structural poetry.
My wife and I recently saw the Netflix series “Vortex” and your article is a perfect follow up and greatly expands on some of the core explorations in the series. Great work and many thanks. (I have forwarded it to my wife who was the Poet Laureate for our home town in Canada, so I await her “professional” opinion!)
I loved this article for so many reasons! The poem I posted in the comments lost its formatting (it's a quintain or pentastich if you prefer), so if you'd like a copy, I'd be happy to email it to you.
I wrote an extensive and writerly comment that got erased by the UI gods (perhaps ultimately to the benefit of all). Wanted to say I feel a deep appreciation of this post, of exploring these kinds of intersections, and of looking underneath the symptoms of collapse to see the underlying design of economies driven by debt, accumulation, private property, and extraction. And for structural poetry.
ahh i'm so sorry to miss it--but can't tell you how much i appreciate this response <3
thanks so much laure
My wife and I recently saw the Netflix series “Vortex” and your article is a perfect follow up and greatly expands on some of the core explorations in the series. Great work and many thanks. (I have forwarded it to my wife who was the Poet Laureate for our home town in Canada, so I await her “professional” opinion!)
Fearful Avoidance
for David Phelps
You know–the tempest-tossed reality of please love me but I will run away the moment you do.
Wielding the dual-edged sword of vulnerability–both fear and need–
we crave intimacy but dread rejection,
force connection but flee commitment.
The emotional slam-bam of getting close quickly and pulling away fast, court us interruptus.
We know deep in our being that anyone we care about will leave us
later if not sooner, so we conduct a pre-emptive strike and dump them first–ha!
Miswired, we’re anxious when our partners are avoidant and avoidant when they’re anxious.
Our dance fueled by relationships where power over is protection:
Safe only when their need of us outweighs ours of them.
We extol the hook-up, strangers to validate us with no emotional stakes,
the people we truly love kept in a glass box labelled just friends, with the benefit of
not hurting them (unavoidable)
or being hurt by their inevitable rejection.
Keeping them close our whole lives, but with no hope for more.
We see life as betting on a game we’re addicted to but know we’ll eventually lose.
We fold every time we win a small hand, certain we’ll lose everything if we keep playing.
When we’ve won validation from people who like us more than we like them,
we throw in our cards and leave.
For us, relationships are sinking ships, our belief that we can’t win the anchor that ensures we won’t.
- Day Merrill, © 2023
this is the kinda comment that makes it all worthwhile—thank you so much :)
I loved this article for so many reasons! The poem I posted in the comments lost its formatting (it's a quintain or pentastich if you prefer), so if you'd like a copy, I'd be happy to email it to you.